![]() ![]() For those who can do nothing for the bully? Abuse, aggression, and mockery are the norm. Those who stroke the bully’s ego or make them feel important and powerful. Bully bosses suck up and are effusive with those who can do something for the bully. However, those under these leaders are targets of insults, aggression, and hostility, especially when the boss’s ego is threatened. Red FlagsĪbusive bosses tend to “kiss up and kick down.” Outsiders often see them as magnanimous leaders who are easy to get along with and generous with their praise. This makes them toxic, if not downright dangerous, as a leader. Narcissists are also likely to perceive enemies where none actually exist. This often leads to them landing leadership roles at work. These feelings of inferiority motivate narcissists to be quite charming and engaging while also demonstrating vision and passion. They have massive egos, but those egos are ridiculously fragile. Despite their outward self-confidence, narcissists often struggle with profound feelings of inferiority. While the entitlement and grandiosity of narcissism might suggest that these individuals think a lot of themselves, a growing body of research suggests it is often just the opposite. Individuals high in narcissism display grandiosity and an overabundance of self-importance, lack empathy, require excessive admiration or adoration, tend to exploit those around them, and hold feelings of superiority and an unreasonable sense of entitlement. However, too much narcissism and things go poorly. We all exhibit some level of narcissism, as it helps protect us from being taken advantage of by others and helps us think well of ourselves. It has become a popular word to throw around, especially since the 2016 United States presidential election of a highly narcissistic billionaire. Those with an overdose of narcissism demonstrate extreme entitlement (e.g., to be admired, to be in control, to be obeyed), lack empathy, and tend to behave in extremely selfish or self-centered ways. They already hold the keys to happiness and success in their own hands.īully bosses are often highly narcissistic. Those who are in control of their own emotions and behavior have little need to control others. Those who aim to control others often do so because they are unsuccessful in controlling themselves. It is generally unacceptable to try to intimidate or control one’s own boss, so bully bosses do so with those who have less power than the bully does - with their subordinates. ![]() Workplace bullies often demonstrate a desire to intimidate and control those around them. You cannot wait to escape their overbearing presence and manipulative efforts. You may wish for the floor to swallow you up. You know you report to a bully boss when you leave most interactions with them feeling worse than before the interaction and feeling bad about yourself and your worth as a person. It is also a most appropriate one as noted in the book, “The No Asshole Rule”. Yes, that is an indelicate word I just used there. Most of us have worked for a bully boss or had a close family member or friend who has worked for one of these assholes. They treat people as though they are expendable because in the abusive boss’s mind, they are. These pencils, more important! These pens, more important! These paper clips, more important! You miserable little crybaby! You don’t like it here, leave! There are thousands of people who would kill for your spot, who would kill for the opportunity to be here! I could spit and hit somebody who could do this job better than you!” Bully bosses are famous - or infamous - for yelling, throwing things and treating their people as though they have no value. And yet, do I hear any complaints when I do this!? (throws schedule at Guy). In one scene, Buddy holds up a work schedule to Guy and says, “You see this? This means more to the office than you. Kevin Spacey plays Buddy Ackerman, a media model who regularly abuses his assistant, Guy, played by Frank Whaley. One prime example of a bully boss is from the 1994 movie Swimming with Sharks. Cutting you off mid-sentence or talking over you. Yelling in someone’s face or otherwise invading their personal space during a tantrum. Rolling their eyes at a subordinate or colleague. Belittling a subordinate in front of others or even in private. Pounding the desk or conference room table in anger. You work for me! If you can’t work for me, then you resign!” “You’re worthless.” Slamming doors. “You’re an idiot.” “How can you be so stupid?” “I’m in charge. ![]()
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